Baptisms Weddings Funerals Communion

In Baptism, God pours out his Holy Spirit and makes us one with him. "Baptism marks the beginning of a journey with God which continues for the rest of our lives, the first step in response to God's love....we believe that we die to sin and are raised to new life, uniting us to Christ's dying and rising." 1

Baptism (and Confirmation) for children
We are always happy to talk with you about the Baptism (Christening) of your children. It shows that you want your children to grow up knowing of God's central place in all things and of his love for you and for them. The promises that parents and godparents are asked to make signify a willingness to give their children an upbringing within the Church family through regular attendance at worship and to teach them the Christian faith. They also promise to demonstrate it all through the way they live their lives. People who were baptised as infants are asked to 'confirm' the promises made on their behalf then at a service of Confirmation (usually from about the age of 11 upwards).

Normally we expect you to live within the parish boundaries and / or to be regular attenders at worship here, as the Christian family here are prepared to commit themselves to support you in years to come and we can only do that if we have continuing contact with you.

Baptism and Confirmation for adults
These days, an increasing number of adults haven't been baptised as babies. Whilst this doesn't mean that God loves you any less, it does provide you with an opportunity to explore the meaning of the Christian faith for yourself and hopefully come to the point of wanting to commit yourself wholeheartedly to God (through the services of Baptism and Confirmation. Adults are baptised and confirmed after a suitable period of preparation involving discussion, regular worship and reflection.

1 From the Common Worship 'Pastoral Introduction' to the service of Holy Baptism. Back to top

Getting Married at St Mary's

What you might like to know about…
Getting married at St Mary’s
This Church is for everyone within the community. We are always glad to receive
enquiries from those interested in getting married at St Mary’s. The law
allows you to be married here if at least one of you :
•    is resident in the parish
•    has been sufficiently regular in worship over at least six months to
have your name entered on the Church membership list called the ‘Electoral Roll’
•    was baptised or confirmed here
•    has ever lived in the parish for six months or more
•    has at any time, regularly attended worship here for six months or more
•    if one of your parents has lived for six months or more in the child’s
lifetime or has regularly attended worship here in the child’s life
•    if your parents or grandparents were married here
•    or you have been granted a special licence, issued only through the Archbishop
of Canterbury’s Faculty Office. The Vicar can provide appropriate information.

The Church recognises civil marriage: yet the distinctiveness of a Christian marriage is reflected in the words of the vows that couples make to each other, covenanting to a depth of relationship that puts the needs of the other before one's own and recognises the power of God to change any of us for the better. A Christian marriage also features the desire for God's presence, involvement and blessing within this new life long relationship - not just on the wedding day, but always.

People who have been married before and divorced
The Vicar of this parish is also willing to explore with couples, one or both of whom have previously been married and now divorced, whether it would be appropriate for them to marry each other in a Christian ceremony. He can make a decision about that, based on three areas of enquiry:
whether there is now insight into what caused earlier relationships to founder, and a capacity to 'be different'
whether continuing responsibilities to children or other dependents are being properly met
how much this couple really want to involve God in their marriage
Please make contact with him to arrange for a first meeting to begin to explore this territory together, in confidence.

Civil Partnerships
The Church of England's House of Bishops currently asks clergy not to hold public services alongside the celebrating of Civil Partnerships. However, the Vicar is always willing to pray privately with any parishioners who ask for prayer, as at any other times of great change in life.

What needs to be done?
1. Make contact with the Vicar (01670 789122), to complete the initial forms and talk about dates and times. There is rarely any problem about having a service at a date and time to suit you.
2. The Vicar will explain other legal requirements (eg the calling of 'banns'); what options there may be for the conducting of your wedding and what the Church part of the day will cost (usually a miniscule amount compared with what other plans for the day might involve). NB Weddings don't have to cost a small fortune! Why not enquire how things could be just as memorable, but simpler and cheaper?
3. The Vicar will arrange for you to meet with him at intervals, for the clarifying of arrangements and to talk some more together about your hopes and expectations for your marriage.
4. Shortly before the Wedding Day, there will be a rehearsal for all those involved in the service, designed to put participants at ease and to provide an opportunity for sensing the deep significance of the ceremony itself.
5. We are always glad when couples who have married here, continue to be part of the congregation and local community - drawing from God the grace he offers that sustains marriage and forms families

Having your funeral service at St Mary's

What better way is there of marking the end of your earthly life than for your body to be brought into Church for a final time, so that family, friends and neighbours can thank God for your life and discipleship; pray for you and commit you to God's safekeeping for all eternity? We would like to encourage all parishioners (whether regular churchgoers or not) to think of ordering things in this way, prior to burial or cremation.

Preparing for one's death
But even before that, invite the Church to be closely involved in your dying, if you know that it is upon you. We will want to support you with our prayer and practical help; you could have Holy Communion brought to you at home or in hospital; it can become an opportunity for engaging with the living God and allowing yourself to be sustained by him. In the first instance, make contact with the Vicar (01670 789122) so that you can explore all of these issues together and even perhaps make preparations for your funeral service when the time comes.

There will also be other things to which you will want to attend:
making sure that your Will is as you want it to be
doing what is within your power to mend any broken relationships
expressing your thankfulness to God and others precious to you
ensuring that your family knows what your wishes are as your health deteriorates further and of your preferences about funerals, donations in your memory etc.
The Churchyard at St Mary's has been closed for some years, though burials of bodies or of cremated remains can be made in existing family graves. We are fortunate in having a fine Cemetery adjacent to it which is the responsibility of Stannington Parish Council.

What needs to be done?
1. When someone dies, it becomes the responsibility of the next of kin (or executor) to register the death and to make funeral arrangements. Funeral Directors will be willing to do much of the arranging for you. Please give them clear direction about where the service is to be held and who should be asked to preside at it.
2. Prior to cremation or burial (traditional or 'woodland'), a service can be held at St Mary's or at a Crematorium, led by our own parish clergy. Occasionally families have asked for a brief service at the Crematorium, followed by a Thanksgiving Service for all friends and neighbours in Church. We are also glad to make the Church available for refreshments and an opportunity for friends to meet and talk with each other, after such services. All of these arrangements can be made between the Funeral Director and the Vicar.
3. The Vicar will always want to meet with the closest family and learn more about the person who has died, and is more than willing to offer and receive suggestions about the funeral service itself.
4. Bereavement is a process that can stretch over some years. The Church wants to offer its support and to encourage the bereaved to use this as a time for renewing their own relationship with God. We can offer friendship as well as pastoral support and spiritual comfort.
5. Each year (usually at the turn of October and November) we invite bereaved families to a Memorial Service at which those who have died in the past year are remembered by name in the prayers. Anyone can also add names to the list of those to be prayed for, in the preceding weeks.
6. Families can ask that the name of someone who has died be entered in the Memorial Book in Church. Donations and gifts in memory are also welcomed: please ask the Vicar about all of these things. Back to top

Receiving Holy Communion

Receiving Holy Communion
"In receiving the Bread and Wine of Holy Communion, God is giving us the Body and Blood of Christ - receiving the life of Christ, who was crucified and rose again - and we benefit from the strengthening of our union with Christ and his Church, by receiving the forgiveness of our sins and the nourishment for eternal life." 2

This special demonstration of God's enlivening love for us is available for all who deliberately live close to him, so demonstrating repentance of sins, a thirst for the life of the Spirit and a generosity towards others. Usually people are admitted after a period of preparation and being Confirmed, from about the age of 11 (though younger children are sometimes prepared and admitted to Communion, with confirmation coming later).

These tokens of Christ (Sacrament = token) provide the nourishment Christians need to live as Christ wants us to live and keep us within a fellowship of other pilgrims. As the Church, such a group of people in a local community (or in some other sort of network of people) become God's local agents for service to others and the sharing of Good News, thus bringing Christian life and hope to others.

If you have been admitted to Holy Communion in another Christian denomination, you are welcome to receive Communion in the Church of England. Those who do so, and decide to make the C of E their 'home', are usually encouraged to be confirmed.

2 From 'The Revised Catechism' Back to top

Further Information

If you would like to explore any of these things further, please contact the Vicar : 01670 789122 Back to top